Trust and Communication
Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy
Good relationships are built on trust and communication. This much we know. But great relationships are built on trust, communication and the understanding that sometimes boyfriends need to keep their big traps
shut.
This you might not know.
Although there are a whole bunch of things you can (and should!) share with your girlfriend – such as hopes and dreams, likes and dislikes, and favorite sexual positions – there are a few items you would do well to leave off of your “things to divulge” list.
In fact, simply resisting the urge to blurt out every single thing that pops into your head can add months to your relationship, and unless that sounds like a death sentence (in which case, go forth and use this guide as a how-to manual for getting her to dump you), you’d be wise to consider the following in order to stay out of the doghouse.
So please. Don’t ever tell her:
… that you’re drunkenly hanging out with cute girls.
Alcohol makes you do funny things like pee on buildings and profess love for people you barely know, but it can also act as a truth serum that moves you to reveal things you would probably otherwise keep to yourself.
Most of the time these are innocuous bits of hilarity (such as the truth about your secret Troll doll collection or a confession that you still have a certain embarrassing website registered in your name), but occasionally drunken admissions enter girlfriend-enraging territory.
Case in point: the 1 AM drunk dial.
You’re out livin’ it up like a gangster and she’s somewhere else, so you decide to call her, mumble incoherently and explain that you’re in a bar that’s exploding with cute girls.
FAIL.
You do not – do NOT – admit to your otherwise-engaged girlfriend that you are drunk and in the company of attractive females. Got it? Let’s practice. You drunkenly call your girl. She says, “so, what’re you up to?” You say:
A. “Just hanging out. Alone. I swear. This time I’m telling the truth.”
B. “Partying with this group of drunk-ass sorority girls. They’re hilarious.”
C. “Hanging out with the guys. You know, the usual. I can’t wait to see you.”
If you chose anything other than C, then you need to re-read everything I’ve ever written. Keep the scenic to yourself, hambro. Girlfriend doesn’t need to know.
… that you hooked up with one of your coworkers three months before you started dating her.
You hooked up with someone weeks and weeks ago? Congrats, player! Your gold medal is in the mail.
The only reasons to discuss past sexual misdeeds with your girlfriend is if they’re hilarious or if you’re hoping to be met with leniency after cheating on her (and the latter is actually only advisable if you hope she’ll eventually agree to marry you).
JSYK: hooking up with someone before you begin dating someone else is not considered cheating on any planet, and people who feel the need to preemptively confess every one of their sexual exploits are either
(a) over-dramatic and living in a constant state of strife or
(b) insecure and desperate to broadcast how sexually promiscuous they are. (Consequently, this is often the bailiwick of people who don’t get a lot of ass but want everyone to think that they do.)
If you’re feeling guilty about a hookup that occurred during your single days, then you should quietly try to figure out why you’re even still thinking about it. Are you interested in this hookup partner? Then give it a go with her or force yourself to get over it; don’t tell your girlfriend about it.
Are you worried that your girlfriend will find out about this hookup partner and freak out because you’re still friends? Then really don’t tell your girlfriend about it, because that’s the only way she’s going to find out about said hookup, at which point she will freak out because you’re still friends.
In conclusion – wait for it – just don’t tell your girlfriend.
By: Jenny Foughner:
http://www.mademan.com
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